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Two Mothers Look at Life After Autism...

What we know now, that we wish we knew then: Reflections from two parents at both ends of the spectrum

Lesson #1: There Is Life After Autism

Lesson #2: Most of the Helping Professionals Really Want to Help

Lesson #3: There is Family Life After Autism

Lesson #4: Getting Support From Other Parents is Crucial to Survival

Lesson #5: Life is Easier When You Accept Your Child for Who He Is

Closing

Featured Book!

Parenting Across the Autism Spectrum: Unexpected Lessons We Have Learned
Maureen F. Morrell, Ann Palmer
The authors give an account of the striking similarities as well as the stark differences in their experiences of parenting children at opposite extremes of the autism spectrum. Staff Review
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"I have a four year old son, Christopher, who is autistic and loves music. He hears a song once, and he will hum the song. It is so amazing how he will hear a song for the very first time, and then hum it right after the song is over. My son is non-verbal. Why is it that he can't pick up speech in that manner? Can you please give me some advice on how I can help my son start talking? Thank you for your time." Irene
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"Hello. My son is five years old and has been diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum. His language is coming along but he still uses a lot of jargon in his speech, although his echolalia has disappeared in the last year. I wonder if you can tell me what we can do to alleviate his use of jargon. It is hindering his social interaction greatly and dents his confidence of talking to other people. I don't think it is related to anxiety as has been suggested because it happens in situations where he is absolutely comfortable, in his own environment and acting on his own terms. Thank you." VE
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"I'm curious about any circle activities you may use for preschoolers who are not yet imitating. We're using discrete trial and I find it so boring. I'm also wondering about ratio of staff to children in the preschool class when implementing schedules during the day. Thanks, your site has given me much needed new inspiration!" Bev
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"Hi. My daughter, 4, was just evaluated with auditory acuity, processing, and memory deficits. What type of activities can I do with her to help her progress?" Audrey
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"I'm not sure about the exact term, but it may be concept imagery. My son has excellent reading and spelling skills; however, he can't always answer or sequence events from a story that has been read. If it was video, he does extremely well. What can we do as parents or the teachers do to be able to help him. He will be in 4th grade next year. A lot of times he is accused of not paying attention or listening, but we feel this plays off the other thing. It effects all subjects at school since everything plays off of reading comprehension. Any suggestions or information would greatly be appreciated. Thank you." DH
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"My son just turned 7 and we started potty training him and he's doing really good ....but never poops in the toilet, always in his pants. How can I get him to poop in the toilet? I would like to find a picture of showing the pooping, but that's impossible." Patty
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"Hi, I have been reading your programmes. Can you tell me the difference between PDD and DD? Thank you." Pat
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"Hi, I'd just like to know if you have any information on how to help my 4 year old son, who was just diagnosed with PDD-NOS, improve on his fine motor skills; such as shoelace tying, writing, snapping, zippering, etc. Thanks for your help." Sincerely, NR
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"My son is 5 years old, and his "stimming" is jumping up and down. Now that he's getting older, I wish to teach him that this behavior is best appropriate at our house and not in public where it draws so much attention. What can I do?" Joann
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"My almost seven year old ( dx mild high functioning autism) has excellent one word recognition. However when reading, he has trouble tracking words with his eyes. He gets lost on the page easily. Often he looks away. He stutters through the words. Any suggestions? Would larger text help? Are there any reading programs that might help? He's being retained in first grade. He also has absence seizures (being treated) and has trouble tracking objects thrown to him." Joan
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"My 6 year old son (high functioning) recently ran away from home. He made it about 1/3 of a mile down our street and was found standing next to the lake near our home. When I tried to explain the dangers of his running away, focusing mainly on stranger safety, he brushed aside my warnings. He is convinced that he doesn't have to worry about anyone trying to take him or hurt him because he is a "tough guy" and can take care of himself. Do you have any ideas on how I can present this very difficult issue to him in a manner that he will accept or understand? I would greatly appreciate any assistance you can provide." H. T. G.
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"Is there someone who could help me with a student (age 7) who compulsively bites others? How would I use the picture symbols to modify his behavior? I am a teacher in Georgia." SW  
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"I have a son who is 8 years old and has autism. He is in the 3rd grade and is having difficulty with the concept of <, >, and =, do you have any visual aides or TEACCH methods that can help?" Louise
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"Hi, my child was diagnosed as an Apert patient. This Syndrome is hardly known by many doctors and even therapists, so assistance on this is very low. We would like to know, what would be the best treatment for this Syndrome? Thanks a lot for your help." The father  
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"Hello, I am looking for a form that a parapro can fill out while they are with an autistic child in a regular ed setting. I could make up one, but I was wondering if you had one that worked well. My purpose is to provide a clear picture of what the child is doing both behaviorally as well as academically when I can't be with him. It will also help the parents and the teacher, too. I believe that it also helps the parapro from becoming bored and more tuned into what the child is actually doing. Provides for daily data and any possible patterns. Thank you." Brenda
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"My daughter is 4 years old and was recently diagnosed with PDD-NOS. Recently, she has become very uncomfortable in certain situations, when we are out in public. I think this may be happening more now, because she understands more, as she grows and gets older. It usually happens in a new place where she has never been. She begins to clench her jaw and her heart races. Sometimes, she will also hold onto herself in her crotch area. I usually talk to her and try to calm her. Since that does not work, I will end up leaving the place. I guess I am more worried when this happens at school when I am not there, and the staff is unable to calm her down. My daughter has a paraprofessional with her most of the day, but it appears that the only thing that works is to remove her from the situation. Are there ways to calm her down, besides removing her from the situation? What is the best thing to do, when this happens?" Ann
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"I teach in an AI classroom that is housed in a regular school. My students are in grades 3-6. I have a particular student (age 10) who responds well to a picture/icon schedule while out in regular ed or in the classroom. His only problem is that he has sudden outbursts of crying(bellowing)for mom. I feel that his day has a balance of sensory activities, physical activities, academic, and so on. We have tried a star chart with him where he can work for a preferred activity by earning stars for being a "big kid, No crying". He bellows for mom. He does not cry for anything else and I do not feel that his crying is for attention or avoidance. I think that he is truly sad and really does miss mom. We also use a family photo in his schedule since he often asks,"When will I see mom?". We put the photo on a Velcro schedule right after the school bus. I really feel like it is a true separation anxiety as would be seen in a preschooler. The good news is that in the past years he was biting and scratching many times a day. This behavior has diminished, but has been replaced with the need for mom. It is a problem because he is loud and he looks like a baby to the other 10 year olds. He is bright and keeps up with the classroom work and expectations other than the crying. Mom has shown her son HER schedule so that he doesn't have to wonder where she is. He knows that she is at work and is happy that he is at school with friends. She meets the bus everyday at home when he is dropped off at the end of the day. All in all, his parents are a great help to him. Do you have any other ideas of how to help him with this true sadness? We were thinking that it needed to run its course just as it does with preschoolers;however, it has been about 3 months now. It has not increased or decreased with intervention. (We have also used social stories). I am at a loss on this one. Thank you." B.G.
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"I wondered if you had any info to share about the problem of "learned helplessness". Do you have any info we can use to educate parents about it? Thanks for all your help." MC
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"I have watched my now 7 year old son develop from an infant/toddler that headbanged, didn't speak until over 3 years old, threw violent tantrums, was nonsocial and would shut down, to being a boy who has taught me how to reach and guide him. He has a PDD-NOS diagnosis that the school doesn't agree with. Now I am trying to defend him in school because they see him as willful and manipulative. What are some areas of learning that I should be aware of? He doesn't know how to write, but copies, and doesn't know how to spell, but associates words as pictures, can't tie his shoes nor dress himself. Yet even with minor problems at school of him not doing work, being a grade behind and not being able to spell or read, the school resource teacher and others feel he is just willful and manipulative. I have documented every move since he began head banging at 11 months old. Are there any specific educational areas I should be pressing for documentation from Special Ed or the school?" Sincerely, A devoted mother of a misunderstood child
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